This work, inspired by The Gashlycrumb Tinies, celebrates the ennui and disappointment of adulthood. This is the text version of the little book and eventually ... death I put together back in 2015 just for fun. A is for “Alcohol” … to get through the day. B is for “Bills” … you pay and you … Continue reading The ABCs of adulthood

I put this little ABC book for adults together for funsies one snowy afternoon. This work, inspired by The Gashlycrumb Tinies, celebrates the ennui and disappointment of adulthood. Enjoy! Click to read "and eventually death"

I was already feeling kind of alright because I'd recently been informed a piece I wrote was in consideration—made it through the first round of judging anyways—for a sort of pretty big deal literary prize. And, while my pessimistic little scribbler's heart goes to work kvetching over an outcome that's still months away, it sure … Continue reading Welcome to Planet Paragraph

What do you do when You can't sleep? Binge on snacks? Watch Japanese tentacle porn? Price bus tickets to Dollywood? Sure, I do all those things. I also write nonsensical pieces like the following realistic, if not pessimistic, descriptions of Disney movies. Enjoy. Or don't. Woodland communists pilfer the coffers of job creators and redistribute … Continue reading Honest descriptions of Disney movies

My favorite memories of pencils are going to the school store in seventh grade. Gathering dimes and nickels to buy a new "writing instrument" as some of the teachers called them. The look of them all long and glossy with their shiny collars and clean pink tops. And the selection was amazing. Sparkly pencils, red-white-and-blue … Continue reading Pencil obsession of a graphite groupie