I penciled this experimental prose poetry story last February for a writing conference but they didn’t end up using it. So I’m passing the savings on to you!!!

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Five Hundred Words Including The Title

Quotation marks epigraph period quotation marks

Em dash Attribution

Note of the author colon I have written this fictional account of real events in experimental prose poetry memoir because all the syntax would not have fit into a hybrid folktale haiku period

I used to ride the trolley in Schenectady comma a place I have never visited comma let alone read about dot dot dot because it reminds me of when I was a boy comma and all the girls with their fetishization seemed simile and metaphor in their hyper-sexualization period

Parenthesis Of course I know what an ellipsis is but comma quotation marks dot dot dot quotation marks is all the more poetic period parenthesis

Sometimes comma I like to flashback to the day my vaguely racist stereotype of a friend with the improbable name said something stolen from Joyce and rewritten to hide my plagiarism period

Ah comma those were the cliched idioms period

Of course comma that was before the little no hyphen longer hyphen acceptable term for a person of his sexuality killed himself in an obvious ploy to win reader sympathy period

I would like to go on using the trolley as some sort of literary device but comma lately comma my ableist misunderstanding of disability has prevented me from em dash if you’ll excuse the metonym em dash getting off my ass period

Oh comma the imagery period

I would have given greater detail but is there anyone who does not know what a sunset or sunrise looks like question mark

I really should not euphemism but if I do not share this thinly veiled revenge fantasy from childhood I will simply hyperbole exclamation point

I mean comma what else could I do question mark

If it were not for my mother and her clearly Freudian overtones comma perhaps the undiagnosed personality disorder coloring my prose would be obvious to me period

Was she being ironic or sarcastic when she juxtaposed us with her malapropisms question mark

Oh comma the dramatic irony period

As it stands comma I find myself doomed to a foreshadowing of events period

If only the sun in its personification would cliché down on me period

Perhaps it is my oversimplification in alliteration but I cannot help thinking there may be anachronisms in this allegorical allusion and that my onomatopoeic oxymoronic paradoxes are merely personifications of my dot dot dot

In the end comma I wonder if this soliloquy is not merely symbolic of synecdoche

Do they have synecdoche in Schenectady question mark

What a lovely phrase comma quotation marks Synecdoche in Schenectady period quotation marks

In the end comma you may be asking yourself whether this was all just some allegory aimed at assaulting an asinine authorial abbotcy em dash abjuring an aggrandized artform period

But comma unfortunately comma your fair question could not be answered in the twenty hyphen eight words left comma according to INSERT NAME flash writing contest guidelines period