I read a piece on Cosmopolitan magazine's website the other day by Laura Beck entitled “18 reasons you're the HBiC of your clique.” [Full article here: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/news/a35664/signs-youre-the-hbic/ ] As hopeful as I was heading into this piece, it is with much chagrin that I admit I am not the Head Bitch in Charge of my … Continue reading Reasons I’ll never be the head bitch in Charge (HBiC)

Can I borrow $5,000 for some billboard advertising? I ask because I finally got around to watching the much-hyped, lauded, and presumably fondled Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri and I feel the need to put up my own walls of advertising demanding to know who thought producing this cinematic abortion was a good idea. For … Continue reading Five Billboards Outside of Giza Plateau

You've heard of shotgun weddings. Well, this is a shotgun blog post. It has been some time since I posted new material on my website, I know. I put humor writing on hold for the most part this past year to focus on my dramatic works. After nearly 20 years of practice, maybe 15 of … Continue reading Floundering in the sea of modern publishing

A man gets to a certain age and he starts to wonder what it's all about. What am I doing here? Why are things the way they are? When will Samuel L. Jackson say “no” to a script? How am I the only one capable of putting toilet paper back on the spindle? Why won't … Continue reading Why I’m changing my name to Kumquat Ferrari

I'm staging an intervention and I need your help. It's not for a heroin addict or a pill popper. We won't be drying out any alcoholics or de-icing a meth head. The party that needs intervening in this case is a rootin-tootin', platform-building, social media whoring, blogging, bragging, taco-eating, bourbon-swilling, essay-writing need-machine—me. I know what you're … Continue reading Author platform looking more like a gallows