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Billy Joel sings … Lord of the Rings?

What happens when you can’t sleep three nights in a row?

You rewrite Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire with The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring themed lyrics.

So, enjoy or don’t. I won’t lose any sleep over it.


We Did Depart the Shire (Frodo’s Song)
Sung to the tune of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”

We did depart the Shire
on to Mordor’s burnin’
cuz of Gollum’s yearnin’

We did depart the Shire
and we can’t stop movin’
cuz the Wraiths are loomin’

Hobbiton, Middle Earth,
Bilbo Baggins’ eleventy-first
Frodo’s thirty-three
All the Shire will party

Bilbo skips the cake
Packs his bags,
he’s running late
Wanderlust struck again
now it’s time to leave Bag End

Bilbo has a ring
from the River Anduin
Gandalf takes away
up to Frodo to keep safe

Forgotten evil in the gold
too powerful for men to hold
Elendil, Gilgalad, Isuldur—dead!

Sauron was the mon (man)
lost a finger now he’s gone
Dark Lord’s one ring
Deagol-Smeagol found the bling

Centuries of rot and greed
made a monster out of Smeeg’
Dark. Lust. Selfish.
Gollum wants his precious!

We did depart the Shire
on to Mordor’s burnin’
cuz of Gollum’s yearnin’

We did depart the Shire
and we can’t stop movin’
cuz the Wraiths are loomin’

Frodo, Pippin, Merry, Sam
on a quest, they leave Bag End
Gollum told Sau-ron
where to find the ring

Gan-dalf can’t be found
Nazgul soon be all around
Old Forrest, Barrow-Downs
Hobbits hiding underground

Barrow-wight, choking roots
approaching now the sound of boots
hush now, best still
saved by Tommie Bombadil!

Take a breath,
get to Bree
full of murderers and thieves
still no Gandalf
Hobbitses scared

Grab a pint in the pub
who’s that looking at us, Bub?
Aragorn? Strider?
A ranger and a rider

On the way to Rivendell
Weathertop upon a hill
Nazgul descend
Frodo nearly gets killed

We did depart the Shire
on to Mordor’s burnin’
cuz of Gollum’s yearnin’

We did depart the Shire
and we can’t stop movin’
cuz the Wraiths are loomin’

Frodo’s sick as hell
but the elves can make him well
Nazgul on the chase
gallop at a demon pace

Across the fjord of Bruinin
Elrond’s got the medicine
Elvin magic, rivers rise
stop the dead from getting by

Elrond nurses Frodo back
council has a heart-attack
destroy the ring ‘fore it’s too late
save Middle Earth from Sauron fate

Need a team to move the ring
a fellowship is gathering
Gimli, Gandalf, Boromir
and Legolas the elf is here

Join the Hobbits, Aragorn
head to mines of Moria
Snowy mountain pass ahead
Balin’s peeps are surely dead

Treachery underground
orcs and demons all around
Gandalf falls, Frodo balls
is this just a lost cause?

Sam and Frodo ditch the guys
cuz the ring is breeding strife
followed by the Smeagol
but that’s all ’til the sequel!

We did depart the Shire
on to Mordor’s burnin’
cuz of Gollum’s yearnin’

We did depart the Shire
and we can’t stop movin’
cuz the Wraiths are loomin’

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